Stop Being a Fat Bitch

As someone who's struggled with weight loss, I was surprised to see the name of Lola Berry's new diet plan – “Stop Being a Fat B*tch”. Yes, you did read that correctly.

Whilst the intention was apparently noble, there was a huge back-lash. With people shocked that she'd chose such an emotive title. These comments summed up the reception of the name of her diet program:

• Is this a joke? What the hell. This is horrible.

• How about we teach never to call yourself ” a fat bitch ” – that'd be first mindset lesson in weight loss.

• Oh my. As a psychotherapist that works specifically with women that are struggling with long term weight issues, I find this completely inappropriate and demeaning. If I REALLY try, I think I can just manage to glimpse where Lola is coming from but it is waaaaaay off the mark and will actually cause more harm than good. This is a classic example of why people need to stay within the boundaries of which they are qualified – I don't go giving nutritional advice so please leave the mindset stuff up to those of us that are qualified.

• Wow, what a disappointment. In a time where orthorexia, fat shaming, weight stigmatism and eating disorders are on the rise, this title only serves to perpetuate all of those problems, regardless of the intention of the book. Utterly shocked.

• Seriously? Isn't this encouraging people to call women struggling with weight issues a fat bitch? Disappointing. What about those struggling with auto-immune diseases that are overweight due to illness and need assistance in eating strategies to help with their healing? Are they a fat bitch because of their illness?

• That's a horrible degrading title, I honestly thought you had more integrity than that. This is a career killer.

• “Fat” women don't need any help with self hatred. We usually carry it around with us as a visible reminder. Bitch a word used by (primarily) males to shame and assert dominance over women who don't conform to society's ideal- it's not motivational, it's demeaning and petty.

• I'm in shock!!! Lola Berry we are here to help rid the cultural definitions of what beauty is and to free women from this brainwashing so that they can be comfortable in their own skin, and be empowered to make what ever choices they want for themselves and that includes how they look and feel about themselves. Not re-affirm these ideals of the mainstream -which are only created in the first place to suppress the feminine. By doing so you are affirming that there is something wrong with “not fitting into the mainstream's definition of beauty” and as a result feeding the insecurities of women which is a seed set in our psyche by western media. I hope when you come to speak at a an inspirational women's event later this year that you choose to leave this thinking behind you, it does nothing but support the continual suppression of feminine.

• As a nutritionist I really feel bad having looked up to you and admired you – you might have called yourself that horrible phrase but how about dropping that phrase from positive conscious thought – why emphasize it when it's so demeaning? As women we should be empowering each other – as nutritionists we should be inspiring and empowering people to make positive choices and sadly I think the title of your weight loss program misses the mark

It looks like the name is going to be changed, with Lola Berry apologising for the upset:

I'm really sorry the name of the eating plan has upset lots of people, that's not my intention at all. The whole point of it was to evoke a change in self talk, but I can see how it's too strong and I'm sorry for that. The content is all about changing your mindset to achieve your health goals. So, I would love you guys to name it. What would you like it to be called?

The Power — and Pitfalls — of Tough Love in Health Messaging

There’s no denying the name “Stop Being a Fat B*tch” was designed to provoke a reaction — and provoke it did. Whether you see it as an attempt at edgy motivation or a deeply problematic example of diet culture gone too far, the conversation it sparked reveals something important: words matter.

For many of us who have struggled with weight, body image, and self-worth, we’ve heard these words — or said them to ourselves — in moments of deep frustration. But hearing them as the title of a program? That feels different. It brings up questions about shame, self-talk, and the role of public figures in influencing how we view our bodies.

Lola Berry's quick apology and invitation for her community to rename the program shows an openness to feedback. That’s a positive step. But it’s also a reminder that weight loss should never be rooted in shame. Motivation doesn’t have to come wrapped in harsh language. It can come from support, honesty, accountability — and yes, even a bit of tough love — but with compassion at its core.

So what should the program have been called instead? “Strong Not Sorry”? “Real Talk Reset”? “Fuel Your Fierce”? What title would you have chosen?

Let me know in the comments — and share your thoughts. Was this just a marketing misstep, or a wake-up call about how we talk to ourselves and each other?

Rethinking the Language of Wellness and Weight Loss

In the world of nutrition, weight loss, and health transformation, language holds incredible power. For many people, the journey towards better health is not just physical — it’s deeply emotional and psychological. That's why the words we use — especially those promoted by public figures — matter more than ever.

The controversy around the now-retracted title “Stop Being a Fat B*tch” raises important questions about how we speak to ourselves, how health professionals motivate change, and whether shame has a place in wellness at all.

There’s a longstanding tradition in the health and fitness world of using “tough love” as a tool for motivation. Phrases like “no excuses,” “just do it,” or “suck it up” have been staples in gym walls and weight loss circles for decades. But there's a fine line between encouraging accountability and triggering shame. And for those who have struggled with their weight for years — often battling emotional eating, trauma, hormonal imbalances, or chronic illness — that line is razor thin.

Is Shame Ever a Motivator?

The short answer is: not sustainably.

Studies in psychology show that shame-based approaches may spark short-term action, but they rarely lead to long-term success. In fact, shame often backfires, making people feel worse about themselves, which can in turn lead to bingeing, hiding behaviours, or completely giving up on healthy habits.

Empowerment, on the other hand, fosters change rooted in self-respect. It’s the difference between “you’re not good enough until you lose weight” and “you deserve to feel strong, energised, and well — let’s work towards that together.”

That’s the crux of what upset so many people about Lola Berry’s original program name. While it may have been designed to mirror the internal dialogue some people have with themselves in private, using that language as a marketing tool publicly only serves to reinforce damaging narratives — particularly for women.

Mindset Matters in the Paleo Community

Within the Paleo community, mindset is already a huge part of the lifestyle. Many of us have rejected conventional wisdom around diet — embracing fat, dropping grains, and opting for real food. But we’ve also had to reframe how we think about our bodies, weight, and health.

A Paleo lifestyle isn’t about punishment or restriction. It’s about nourishment, strength, energy, and reconnecting with a way of eating that honours our biology. It’s about discovering what foods support you and learning how to live in alignment with that — which takes patience, trial and error, and a lot of self-kindness.

The backlash to Lola Berry’s program name is a good reminder: words should uplift, not diminish. Especially when it comes to helping people make long-term changes to improve their health.

If You're On a Weight Loss Journey…

If you're currently working towards weight loss, ask yourself:

• Are your goals rooted in self-compassion, or self-criticism?

• Do your daily habits support the person you want to become — not just how you want to look?

• Are you surrounding yourself (online and offline) with voices that motivate you kindly?

If not, maybe it’s time for a reset. You don’t need a dramatic, shame-fuelled wake-up call. What you need is belief in yourself, a plan that honours your body’s needs, and a community that encourages your efforts — not one that ridicules them.

What Could the Program Have Been Named?

Words like Strong, Fierce, Resilient, Unapologetic, or Evolving carry just as much power — without the baggage. A title like Fuel Your Fierce, Worthy Wellness, or The Reset Method could inspire transformation without shame.

Maybe this misstep opens the door to better conversations in the wellness industry. Maybe it challenges brands to think deeply before they speak. And maybe — just maybe — it reminds all of us that health journeys are hard enough without having to fight the weight of harmful language too.