How To Deal With A Non Supportive Partner
It seems fairly common in the Paleo community for people to have a significant other, or family, who aren't quite as supportive with the whole Paleo diet thing. At least not yet…
So if you’re convinced that eating Paleo is right for you (and right for most people!) how do you deal with a non-supportive partner or family?
Do you try to convince them and force them to buy into a Paleo diet? Do you relent and go back to your old ways, as it’s just too hard to fight? Or do you carry on regardless?
Are They Receptive?
If your partner is interested in what you’re doing – lend them your Paleo books and show them your favourite sites. Be on hand to answer their questions – and show case some great Paleo meals to demonstrate how well you can eat.
Are They Hostile?
Unfortunately, often partners and family can be less than enthusiastic about a new diet. They might be jealous, feel left out, not want to change the status quo – or perhaps just completely against it!
When faced with a lot of resistance at home, a good approach seems to be to not even try to change their mind. Keep doing your Paleo thing – and hope that by being a good example, eventually your good health will speak for itself.
If you do the cooking, you have a far easier job. You can continue to cook – but just keep it Paleo. If they object, they’ll have to make their own – it’s their choice. If they usually cook and aren’t prepared to make it Paleo, you’re going to need to start cooking and preparing your own food.
Do you have a supportive partner? Did you come to Paleo at different times? Any tips you have for dealing with a none supportive partner – please share in the comments below and help someone out!
Understanding the Root of Resistance
When embarking on a Paleo lifestyle, it's essential to recognize that your partner's resistance may stem from various sources. They might feel threatened by changes to shared routines, fear being judged for their eating habits, or simply lack understanding of the Paleo diet's benefits. Acknowledging these feelings can pave the way for empathy and open dialogue.
Effective Communication Strategies
Open and honest communication is crucial. Share your reasons for adopting the Paleo diet, emphasizing personal health goals and well-being. Instead of dictating changes, invite your partner to ask questions and express concerns. This collaborative approach fosters mutual respect and understanding.
Lead by Example
Actions often speak louder than words. Demonstrate the positive impacts of the Paleo lifestyle through your increased energy, improved mood, and overall health. Your partner may become more receptive when they observe tangible benefits firsthand.
Inclusive Meal Planning
Involve your partner in meal planning and preparation. Explore Paleo recipes together and find dishes that appeal to both of you. This shared experience can transform mealtime into an opportunity for bonding rather than a point of contention.
Respect Individual Choices
It's important to respect your partner's autonomy. While you can share your experiences and knowledge, avoid pressuring them to adopt the Paleo diet. Allow them to make their own informed decisions at their own pace.
Establish Boundaries
Set clear boundaries regarding your dietary choices. For instance, you might request that certain non-Paleo foods be kept separate or that shared meals accommodate your dietary needs. Clear boundaries help prevent misunderstandings and maintain harmony.
Seek Support Outside the Relationship
If your partner remains unsupportive, consider seeking encouragement from friends, online communities, or local Paleo groups. Connecting with like-minded individuals can provide motivation and a sense of belonging.
Educate Through Resources
Provide your partner with resources such as books, documentaries, or articles that explain the Paleo diet's principles and benefits. Sometimes, information from external sources can be more persuasive and less emotionally charged.
Celebrate Small Wins
Acknowledge and celebrate any positive steps your partner takes toward understanding or supporting your lifestyle. Positive reinforcement can encourage continued openness and participation.
Be Patient and Compassionate
Change often takes time. Practice patience and compassion as your partner navigates their feelings and beliefs about the Paleo diet. Your understanding can create a supportive environment conducive to growth and acceptance.
Focus on Shared Goals
Identify common goals, such as improved health, increased energy, or spending quality time together. Aligning your Paleo lifestyle with these shared objectives can foster cooperation and mutual motivation.
Adapt Social Activities
Modify social activities to accommodate both your dietary preferences and your partner's comfort. For example, choose restaurants with diverse menu options or host gatherings where both Paleo and non-Paleo dishes are available.
Address Emotional Eating
Recognize that food can be tied to emotions and comfort. If your partner uses food as a coping mechanism, approach the topic sensitively and consider seeking professional support to address underlying issues.
Maintain Flexibility
While adhering to the Paleo diet, allow for flexibility in certain situations to reduce tension. Occasional compromises can demonstrate respect for your partner's preferences and encourage reciprocal understanding.
Reevaluate Relationship Dynamics
If persistent conflicts arise due to lifestyle differences, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship dynamics. Consider couples counseling to address deeper issues and develop strategies for mutual support and respect.
Encourage Joint Health Goals
Propose setting joint health goals that align with both your interests. Whether it's engaging in physical activities together or exploring new healthy recipes, shared objectives can strengthen your bond and promote a supportive environment.
Practice Self-Care
Prioritize your well-being by engaging in self-care practices that reinforce your commitment to the Paleo lifestyle. This might include regular exercise, mindfulness activities, or connecting with supportive communities.
Stay Informed and Adaptable
Continuously educate yourself about the Paleo diet and remain open to adapting your approach as needed. Flexibility and a willingness to learn can enhance your ability to navigate challenges with your partner effectively.
Document Your Journey
Keep a journal to track your experiences, challenges, and successes. Reflecting on your journey can provide insights into your progress and serve as a valuable tool for personal growth and communication with your partner.
Celebrate Your Commitment
Acknowledge your dedication to the Paleo lifestyle and the positive changes it brings to your life. Celebrating your commitment can reinforce your motivation and inspire those around you, including your partner.
I do the shopping and the cooking for my family so there was no choice for them. Eat what I cook and what is in the house or go hungry.
My husband doesn’t eat paleo or primal by choice but I make him eggs with veggies cooked in coconut oil every morning for breakfast and dinner is usually a meat and veggie scenario. We don’t have rice or pasta. He still has sandwiches, muesli bars etc cause that is his choice. I eat how I like and if I’m cooking a meal them I cook paleo for him and he loves it. I don’t cook separately ever cept his lunch he still has to have his sandwiches made with wheat and grains. but I give him organic salad ingredients and pan fry the chicken or bake cuts and put in his lunches. I think alot of people freak out when the see butter and coconut oil but I slather my food in it and I feel better and keeps me fuller for longer. If I’m losing weight I’m doing something right! I feel that I cannot force my lifestyle onto others and better to lead by example and let the evidence speak for itself! If people are interested then I’m happy to share.
My partner is supportive but not paleo….yet! I am working on him 😉
He loves his bread, and milk & sugar in his coffee and I get told off if I ‘forget’ to buy it for him (I’m the one that does the shopping in this house). However, I am slowly converting him and our 4 year old daughter. It just takes patience and time.
I usually do the cooking so I make mostly paleo meals but allow a little white potato or rice pasta if I need to keep them happy. The best meals I find to make are meat and veg – plenty of variations on that theme. I am also experiementing with paleo snacks and treats to find what works.
I buy the food and do the cooking, I think my partner is about 80% paleo as he has things like sugar, ice cream, milk. I just accept that he is not as determined as me! I’m just happy he is ‘mainly paleo’.
Out for a meal, with friends, at the weekend it just struck me as odd the way they were trying to pick calorie controlled low fat foods rather than whole foods. (I must admit I kept quiet though)
I’m lucky, I have a receptive and supportive partner who has been willing to ride the paleo train right from day 1. I do most of my reading in the living room while she watches tv, and I think it was helpful that, when I would come across some especially interesting bit of research or well-written summary of some paleo principle, I’d ask her to pause and then read just that bit out loud to her. That way I could pass on tidbits of information without overwhelming her with my enthusiasm for hard science and raw data.
Now that we’ve been paleo for a while, when one of us starts to feel bad or have skin or digestive problems, we start with a discussion of what in our diets could be causing our symptoms, have we been making less-than-ideal choices or not sleeping enough, etc.
My husband is a certified junk food junkie, and unfortunately our young adult children have followed in his footsteps. I started eating better a few years ago but didn’t start Paleo until this past spring. Of course I’m the butt of the family’s jokes. I don’t cook grains anymore. If they want them, they have to cook them for themselves. They eat some of the things I prepare, other times they make their own. My son is vegetarian but eats WAY too many processed carbs. I don’t push my way on them. I’ve learned it does no good. I hope my example will rub off on them sooner than later. I have lost weight, my GERD is totally gone as are my severe sinus/allergy issues.
I am like kathe in that my husband and children eat the processed sugar cereals, foods, pasta, Kool-aid – you name it. I tend to be the butt of their jokes or was until I lost almost 50 lbs- and other guys started looking at me. Now he is at least verbally supportive, but says that he does not know how he can do it. We try making little changes every day… It’s harder with my older daughter and easier with my younger one.
One day at a time